Change is a natural part of life... it is all around us, all of the time. Something is always changing. If something isn't changing...we aren't really living. Or, we are missing everything that is going on all around us. I tend to embrace change...I feel like we all have to accept change as it comes to us, so that we grow and learn and make the most of the opportunities that come our way, even when we don't fully understand what they mean to us.
Maybe it is this time of year, but I feel transition all around me. The end of summer is approaching, and with it the beginning of a new school year, and fall, and the end of yet another year. I am not sure if it is just me, but I feel like I am almost dragging my feet when it comes to moving into the next phase...like I know I need to do it, but I just can't quite accept what is coming to me. It is just so unlike me...
So much is changing... We are about to say good-bye to the place that has been O's second "home" since she was just twelve weeks old. It is a bittersweet ending... She is clearly ready for the next phase... Like her mom, she has no problem with change. She has been talking for weeks about her new school and the first day of Kindergarten cannot get here fast enough for her... She will leave behind the school she has known for years without even a backward glance. As her mom, I am glad that it won't be a difficult transition to Kindergarten...she is ready to move on. Another part of me is just so sad...I will very much miss the routine of the "old" school, the staff that we knew, the ease of leaving her there each day knowing that she was in the right place. So, it is a transition for me as well as one for her...
Other parts of my life are experiencing more than their fair share of transition, too... Some days I feel like an outsider, a stranger, looking in on a life that I know is mine but seems to just be moving around (or past) me... Perhaps it is a control issue? I don't mind change...but I don't like to feel like it is all completely out of my control. I wish sometimes that I could learn to be more easy going about things...like the ocean, I wish I could just roll with the tide and let it all happen without trying to foresee where the ending might lead me.
So... I will buy school supplies, and new uniforms, and start "practicing" the new routine that is coming my way... I will gear up for fall... and work on accepting the changes that are coming my way. I will do my best to be aware of my reactions to what is happening all around me and yes, accepting of those things... because fighting against change is against my nature, and I know from experience that it is so very unproductive. Learning to let go and let things just be...that is toughest of all. I can do it... if I just focus, I know that I can.
