The Dance...

Little O just recently started her very first dance class... "creative movement and pre-ballet" with Miss Amy. So far, O has learned how to plie and she has learned retire... I can barely pronounce either, let alone explain them, but her teacher is very good at boiling the moves down to simple terms and teaching the girls how to do them. I am very impressed so far... O does not appear particularly graceful when she demonstrates the moves, but I am sure that will come in time. And let's face it... at this age, it is really about the super cute tutu that she will get to wear at a recital, right?!

Anyway, all of the dancing that O has been doing has also inspired me... I am really just a frustrated dancer at heart... all of my life, from little one and on, I wished I could be a dancer. I did not, however, come from a family that believed that type of activity was worthwhile, so no dance lessons for me. But, at this stage in my life, I have become intrigued with the idea of learning to dance now... I have been checking into adult beginner tap lessons... how much fun does that sound like?! Seems like it would be a great workout, as well as an opportunity to learn something new and take my very first dance class! So what is holding me back? I haven't signed up yet anywhere... The not signing up is for one reason mostly...many of the studios require that you participate in a "recital" at the end of the class. Are you kidding me?

For most of my life, I have avoided all things related to being on stage, being video-taped, etc...you get the idea. For those of you that have known me a long time, my fear of the "stage" seems unlikely considering that I was a cheerleader for six-years and have always been considered "outgoing"... Here is what you have to keep in mind... as a cheerleader, I was just one in the pack, and was not ever singled out really. There is a certain safety in being a part of the crowd as it were...

It has recently been suggested to me that perhaps this would be my opportunity to step out of my comfort zone and conquer a long-time fear... I keep trying to go back to the fact that all I am looking for is an opportunity to try something new and also get a great workout. Who said anything about trying to step outside my comfort zone???? I am perfectly happy staying "offstage"...

All of this has me thinking about one thing... all of life really is a dance. Some of us dance to the beat of a different drummer...we go out of our way to defy the odds, make our own rules, do things in our own way regardless of how others feel. There are those of us who dance to everyone else's tune... so afraid of making a mistake or disappointing others that we decide to just "go along" because it is so much easier. So, what kind of dancer are you?

I would like to be the person who dances to their own tune, but I think the reality is that I am somewhere between that and dancing to everyone else's tune. Perhaps that makes me the tap dancer that I aspire to be...taping around the real issues. Some days I get through just fine, on my own, strong and secure, and others I have the daring to do that thing outside my comfort zone... Mostly, I come close to doing the things I really want to do, but just can't quite convince myself that I really can do them... Does that mean I am a tap dancer already?