For example...

Growing up, my parents regularly reminded me that as the oldest of three siblings it was my responsibility to set a good example. I was suppose to follow the rules, get good grades, make my family proud. Being the over-achiever, perfectionist that I am, I of course took all of this seriously. It also helped to have a healthy dose of fear that failure would disappoint my dad, and I didn't want to fail to live up to his expectations.

Last week, in yet another example confirming that I have made the right choice, O's dad decided to "help himself" to some fruit from the breakfast trays that were set up for the kids at school. He apparently thought the coast was clear and no one was watching him when he snatched the banana. Unfortunately, one of the people that I work with saw him do it...and then told the front desk at school and several other moms at work. She couldn't wait to relay the story to me because she thought I would "think it was so funny". Huh... needless to say, I was not laughing. My daughter's dad is the "banana stealer" at school...and I am beyond embarrassed and just plain mortified. I know that I am not responsible for his actions, but I can't help but feel concerned about the example he sets for our daughter. If SHE ever pulled that move...

So, I am asking myself... Am I the only one that does not find this incident funny? Am I just too squeeky clean when it comes to these things? Am I too paranoid about what kind of example we set for O? I know that she won't turn into some kind of delinquent because we make a few mistakes as we raise her, but shouldn't there at least be some general guidelines of good behavior? Do I seriously have to outline them for him? Will she learn to be the "good example" that I was raised to be by spending 60% of her time with me? What happens during the other 40%?

There are so many days when I wish that I could throw all the rules out the window, be carefree and reckless, take chances and even maybe make a few mistakes... To say it does not come naturally to me, would be an understatement. There are risks that are worth taking, and there are rules that maybe CAN be broken some times. But I still believe that we owe it to O to teach her those rules, and make her stick to them... When she grows up she can decide for herself what risks she is meant to take. I want her to be a strong, confident woman...but I also want her to be a responsible woman who respects others. I don't think that is setting too high of an expectation...for him as well as her.