Summer storms are interesting things... you can have a perfectly sunny, beautiful, warm summer day one minute and the next thing you know the clouds roll in, the sky is an odd shade of green and the tornado siren is going off, warning you to get to shelter. It has been an odd week of weather around here... I haven't deliberately spent this much time in my basement in quite some time. Good news is that we have weathered the storms just fine.
The crazy weather has me thinking about how we weather the storms in our personal lives... No one is immune to "bad weather". We all have things we have to deal with at one time or another that are less than pleasant. As for me, my entire week has pretty much mimicked the weather. The details are not important, but it all has me wishing for clearer skies and simpler times. The real question is this... if it was sunny and clear all the time, would that really be better?
I think sometimes when it just seems like there are too many things happening, and so much feels as out of our control as the weather, we start to wish that everything could just be simple or easy. But I wonder, if everything came easy, and we never had any challenges to face, how would we learn to appreciate the best parts of every day? Would we know how lucky we were? Would we put the same value on all of the good things in our lives? Without a point of comparison, would we just take all of the best things for granted?
Simple times... I know that I have fallen victim to wishing for things to be easier time and again. But I have also learned over time that while I may wish for that in the short term, nothing that is worth having ever came easy and some of the more challenging things I have faced have taught me the best lessons. I think simple sounds like it might be a nice place to visit for a few days, but after a time it just becomes boring...and too easy really. I am reminding myself of all of this because I know that this storm, too, will pass...and the weather on the other side is going to be beautiful!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
My Old House...
If the walls of this house could talk... I bought this house fresh on the heels of divorce number one...determined to stand on my own two feet, find my independence, and make a new life for myself. And all of those things happened. In this house I finished my MBA, found love, became a mom, discovered love isn't always enough, and found myself starting all over for a second time...
While plenty of things have changed over the eight years I have lived in this house, one thing has remained consistent...this is the place that I call home. This house has been witness to the best and worst parts of my life, seen me celebrate the happy times and wrapped me in comfort in the tougher times. O was days old when we brought her to this home, she took her first steps here, spent a sleepless night in my arms when she had croup, became a little girl before my eyes, and starting sleeping beside me when we both needed some comfort.
Part of me can't wait to sell this house and walk away... It means a chance to move on and make new memories, leaving behind the not-so-happy memories that live in these walls. But how do you let go of a place that has meant so much? Because despite those unpleasant memories there are some amazing times, too...this is the only house that O has really known as her home, it is my first house, and I have spent years improving and making this house ours. But as hard as it is to imagine someone else living in this house, I know that we would make the next house ours, too.
So, am I running away, or looking for a fresh start? Does it matter? I find myself at a crossroads...waiting for the analysis from a Realtor to help me make the decision about whether or not the time to sell is now. Part of me wants to hear that the market isn't as bad as it seems...and part of me would be relieved to know that now just isn't the time. Maybe not knowing what I really want means the time just isn't right, no matter what the realtor says? Or, is it just easier to choose what is familiar? It isn't like me to stay in one place, motionless and indecisive...and it certainly isn't like me to try to take the easy way out. But I have been stalling on this one for an entire year already...making one excuse after another to delay putting the house up for sale. Maybe I am just not ready?
While plenty of things have changed over the eight years I have lived in this house, one thing has remained consistent...this is the place that I call home. This house has been witness to the best and worst parts of my life, seen me celebrate the happy times and wrapped me in comfort in the tougher times. O was days old when we brought her to this home, she took her first steps here, spent a sleepless night in my arms when she had croup, became a little girl before my eyes, and starting sleeping beside me when we both needed some comfort.
Part of me can't wait to sell this house and walk away... It means a chance to move on and make new memories, leaving behind the not-so-happy memories that live in these walls. But how do you let go of a place that has meant so much? Because despite those unpleasant memories there are some amazing times, too...this is the only house that O has really known as her home, it is my first house, and I have spent years improving and making this house ours. But as hard as it is to imagine someone else living in this house, I know that we would make the next house ours, too.
So, am I running away, or looking for a fresh start? Does it matter? I find myself at a crossroads...waiting for the analysis from a Realtor to help me make the decision about whether or not the time to sell is now. Part of me wants to hear that the market isn't as bad as it seems...and part of me would be relieved to know that now just isn't the time. Maybe not knowing what I really want means the time just isn't right, no matter what the realtor says? Or, is it just easier to choose what is familiar? It isn't like me to stay in one place, motionless and indecisive...and it certainly isn't like me to try to take the easy way out. But I have been stalling on this one for an entire year already...making one excuse after another to delay putting the house up for sale. Maybe I am just not ready?
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