Effortless...

Some people are easier to get to know than others... it isn't necessarily about how open they are, but more about how comfortable you are with each other.  There is a natural chemistry between some people that allows them to just "click" with each other...they don't have to work at being together or understanding each other, the relationship is effortless.

I've experienced effortless... in relationships with family members, close friends, and men I have loved.  I had forgotten, until I was reminded today, that it does exist in all kinds of personal relationships.  I've spent a good part of the last month trying to get to know someone new... Always, at the start of dating someone, I try to remind myself that it takes extra effort, that it is always awkward when you are just getting to know someone new, that you can't expect it to be easy right from the beginning... But, is that all true?  Should it be effortless right from the start?  Or, is that just rare and special when it happens?

Mr. Someone New and I had a conversation today about how things have been going between us... and what to do next.  We have had challenges with finding time to spend together, and it has felt to me like we almost start all over each time we get together... But until he asked me today "shouldn't it be effortless"?  I could not identify what seemed to be missing... He was right... it has not been effortless between us.  I have been making excuses that it just comes with time and is part of getting to know someone, at the same time that he was waiting for it to be easier, too.  So, you know how this story ends...

The conversation today was a good reminder for me... Maybe effortless isn't something you HAVE to immediately have in order to make a relationship work...maybe some relationships do just take more time to develop, but when you find a person that you really connect with easily and without a lot of effort...those are relationships you need to hold on to.