"I hate myself a little for saying this... it felt really sad not to have a man in my life who cares about me, no special guy to wish me happy birthday, no god damn soul mate, and I don't even know if I believe in soul mates". Carrie, Sex & The City
Birthdays are a time to reflect... a chance to stop for a minute, look around, and think about the passage of time, and where the journey seems to be taking us. Sometimes, this results in focusing on all of the things that we don't have, instead of all of the many good things that we do. Just hours away from turning 40, I find that I have been feeling very reflective, but that I also may have spent too much time dwelling on the things that don't seem to be quite right.
But, some positive things have come out of this overanalysis, too... I can remember when I was twenty-nine going through a similar thing and thinking that it seemed so strange to be on the edge of the end of my "20's". How did a whole decade just slip right by? So here I am again... spending the last hours of my "30's" thinking about how different my life is today from what it was ten years ago. And, quite honestly, that is the most positive thing about turning 40... My life at almost 40 is so much better than the almost 30 life was.
These last ten years have brought me many challenges, but also amazing gifts. I think that maybe the sorrows of the tougher times were necessary so that I would recognize all of the goodness that I have in my life. Without the challenges, would I really appreciate all that makes my life wonderful? So, focusing on the good stuff... Here is the best of my last ten years:
*I became a Mom... to a beautiful, healthy, smart, funny little girl that makes every day a new adventure.
*I have a loving family, that is always there for me when I need them...
*I have special girlfriends who believe in me, make me laugh, and share the burdens when they get heavy.
*My job...well two, actually... that keep me challenged every single day.
*A home of my own that signifies hard work and is a welcome place to come to at the end of each day.
*I have been fortunate to travel... to lots of places to see people I love, go on adventures, and experience new places and things.
*I have a closet full of shoes with secret powers that allow me to walk through the day with confidence.
And there are more... all of the little things that make each day special. I am not going to dwell on the things that I don't have in my life... I am looking forward to all of the great things coming my way in my "40's". And I will be spending my birthday with a very special guy... a concert and then drinks/dessert with my dad. What could be better than that?
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