Almost ten years ago I received the coveted Tiffany charm bracelet as a gift... sterling silver, heavy links, with a sweet heart charm. It instantly became my favorite, and most who have known me for any length of time know that you rarely see me without the bracelet on. Over the years it has almost become my signature in a way... I wear it all the time.
Anyone who really pays attention may have noticed last year when the charm on my bracelet became a four-leaf clover... As much as I really liked the bracelet, I was struggling with the heart charm...especially since I had gotten divorced the year before from the man who originally gave it to me with love. The heart charm just didn't seem to fit anymore... At that time, my thought was...forget love, I could use a little bit of good luck. So, the heart was put into the safe deposit box for O, replaced with a clover as my "good luck" charm.
It is true that I am superstitious by nature... I like to blame it on my Irish blood that I feel the need to have certain things in my life to be sure I have good luck. The clover charm, my ladybug tattoo, a Chinese sketch of nine fish that mean good luck, etc...you get the idea. I am attracted to things that are meant to bring me good fortune and I think it is because I feel protected by these things in some way. The rational part of me knows this all sounds ridiculous...and believe me, I have told myself over and over that "things" can not bring me good luck, I have to make my own luck and bring good things into my life on my own. Yeah, sure, now if only the irrational part of me could believe all of that...
Thanks to some bad luck, my theories regarding this topic are being tested... Over the weekend I had a trip planned with a girlfriend and spent Friday morning running around to get O to school and myself out to my dad's house to drop off my car before heading out of town... You can probably imagine the sickness in my stomach when I arrived at my dad's house, looked down, and found that I had my bracelet on...but the clover charm was gone. I went through my entire car, dumped out my purse, shook out my coat, dug in my pockets...no charm. When I arrived back home on Sunday the search continued...the driveway, porch, throughout the house...nothing. Lost and found at school on Monday...nope, no charm.
I think it is pretty safe to say that it is gone... The loss makes me sad, but I am even more concerned about what kind of karma this is bringing me. What does it mean to lose your good luck charm? Are you even more screwed as far as luck goes when you lose the thing that was suppose to bring you the good luck? A friend said to me that maybe I needed to lose the charm in order to change my luck...this sounds good, but I am struggling to really believe her theory. I think she just wanted me to feel better about the loss, and I do appreciate the thought. Maybe with a little time I can convince myself that a charm does not guarantee anything... I really do have to make my own luck.
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