Appreciation?

I have been thinking a lot this week about how people show that they appreciate (or don't) each other. I saw an Oprah episode that talked a lot about how you need to demonstrate to your spouse that you appreciate them for the things they do, even the things that in theory they have to do. The message was that if you show each other that you appreciate what each does, it will keep your relationship happier. So, I got to thinking... do we show appreciation around our house?

My initial reaction to this question is simply "no, we don't"... But perhaps more important than answering the question is figuring out if lack of appreciation really is the issue. I have to say that many days I feel like the to do lists around this house are lopsided... mine loaded with chores around the house, care-taking responsibilities for Little O, and then, oh yeah, throw in a busy work schedule, too. On the other side... yard work and cooking are the primary responsibilities, with options to decide not to do either, I feel...and a much lighter load at work.

I think that what happens is that I have this belief that I pull a bigger load, and that creates resentment, which builds up into this "thing", this undercurrent of unhappiness that I feel I am also carrying around. But, let's just say that the lists didn't change, but the reaction to getting all of the work done did...with non-stop "the house looks great", "thanks for taking such good care of Little O", etc... I must say that I don't actually know how I would react to that...perhaps I am too used to the resentment to acknowledge real appreciation? Have I become too accustomed to being resentful? How do I open up to the possibility of appreciation? How do I learn to accept it graciously and take it at face value? It all makes me question whether or not I even know what I really want...