One Date Wonder...

I go on a lot of first dates... A LOT.  Don't get me wrong...there is not a line of guys around the corner waiting to ask me out...  It is only because of the matchmaker that I have a steady stream of first dates.  What I do not go on are very many second dates...and virtually no third dates.  At the beginning, this seemed like a part of the dating process... meet someone, you figure out early if there is any chemistry, and if not...well, that is it.  Why waste the other person's time, right?! 
 

I think I am a good first date... I am easy to talk to and know how to make the other person feel comfortable.  I never try to rush off to the next important thing I have to do...if you go out with me, you get my full attention.  And I am always willing to try (almost) anything at least once (whether that is a particular restaurant, activity...you get it).  So, I am sure I seem to be this laid back, easy to know, lighthearted person.

I was recently on a first date where the guy told me that he goes on a lot of first dates...but does not have many second dates.  He gave me his whole theory about how in the first fifteen minutes you know if you are going to want to spend more time with the other person or not.  I told him my own experience was basically the same...and felt good that we have the same philosophy.  And then he asked me to go on a second date with him...

I have started to notice that my pattern is pretty consistent... It is not that I go on first dates and never get ASKED to go on second dates.  Typically, I go on the first date, my date thinks we need to go on a second date, and I pretty much go out of my way to make sure we never go on that date...

So, if I am ready to be out dating, and I have no problem getting myself set up on all of these first dates, what is it that keeps me from wanting anything more than a first date?  Some of it does have to do with the fact that if I know I don't have any chemistry with you, I am not going to pretend that I want to continue to date you.  But, I have been on some first dates that had possibilities, and I always seem to do everything I can to avoid date number two... I am not sure what I am more afraid of...that I will actually like the person and want to have them in my life?  I am not sure I want to deal with the complications that will create.  Or, am I afraid that they will change their mind about me and I will be disappointed?  Am I making sure they have no real chance?

I think I know the answer... But knowing, does not change the complexity of the situation... Is it fair to keep going on first dates and giving a false expectation that a second date could happen?  Am I just leading these guys on, even if it is unintentional?  And what to do about the latest guy...second date, or no second date?