Words are so much a part of who we are...they define every moment, every emotion. Words make us laugh, break our hearts, bring us inspiration...they are the foundation for our music, education, and our entertainment. They are hurtful when used in anger or frustration... and healing when used to repair past mistakes, providing the foundation to forgiveness.
What we say, how we say it, and whom we say it all to...the choices we make about how we use our words can make all the difference. They are delicate things sometimes, our words. The wrong words can divide families, sometimes nations, and change the course of history. Choosing our words carefully, however, can be the difference...bringing people together.
Generally speaking, I am a fan of using more words rather than fewer words...for pretty much everything. I would rather know and understand the whole story, than only have a part of it and have to use my imagination to fill in the blanks. It is true in my professional life as well as my personal life... if there is one thing you can count on me to support and do my best to perpetuate, it is good communication. When people start to tell themselves their own stories, because they don't have a full, true, story, their imaginations tend to take them to places that have no real footing in reality. I am as guilty of this as the next person...I think it is just human nature to an extent.
I find myself frustrated lately by just how poorly a lot of people communicate... And it has me wondering why it happens or how people let it happen. Some of the whys are simple...too busy, too forgetful, or too many people to communicate to. How it happens, in most cases I think, is that something needs to be said but finding the right time and way to do it can be difficult...so the stalling starts and the next thing you know, it really is too late. Not to be harsh...but I call this "conflict avoidance", whereas those who choose this method of communication would probably say they were being careful and preventing emotional fallout from what they needed to say.
You know where I am going with this, right?! There have been several of these types of individuals in my life, but today I will just deal with one. After six weeks of all sorts of communication, dates, etc...sudden silence. It started with excuses...sick, too busy at work, cell phone died...THEN it went to silence. Okay, so I am a smart enough girl that when the excuses started I knew something was up...and in the least demanding way I could come up with tried to ask what was going on. I never got an answer.
So, I am left with only my imagination to figure out "why?"... Let me just say that MY imagination should never be left to figure out these kinds of things... Predictably I have been going through the laundry list of "things that are wrong with me" to find the right one... the funny thing about that one is that the guy didn't even have a chance to figure out what a lot of those things are! So, then I turned to replaying in my head every one of the last few conversations that we had to figure out what I SAID wrong... because what I communicated to him must have been the problem, right?!
Needless to say, without the other half of the situation weighing in with some information, this quest for answers is going nowhere... That means that I get to decide what the problem was. So, I am doing my best to blame it all on things being wrong with him. Seems fair to me. He is clearly the conflict-avoider type and changed his mind about me, but doesn't even have the emotional maturity to say to my face "I don't like you anymore". I am clearly better off without him in my life. And that will be the last word...*
*Unless he got hit by a truck and is in a coma, unable to communicate...but I will deal with that when he comes crawling back, looking for forgiveness and chanting how he just can't lose me... And there goes that imagination again.
No comments:
Post a Comment